


Mother Knows Best

by Skylar102



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 'I do love a challenge' Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Alicante Magnus Bane, Inquisitor Alec Lightwood, M/M, Maryse has ALL the tea, Snapchat, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles), alec lightwood is funny and you can pry that from my cold dead hands, husbands that have fun together stay together, this fic is pure crack and I stand by the decisions i made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 17:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/pseuds/Skylar102
Summary: Magnus really should have known better than to show Alec how to use snapchat





	Mother Knows Best

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic that I have ever written so if it's horrible please don't let me know and tell me only lies xD
> 
> This is dedicated to my discord friends because y'all are the reason this even exists and gave me the motivation to write it  
I love every single one of you <3

It started off as a joke because Alec was bored at this week’s Clave meeting. Magnus was sitting across from him at the table, trying to pay attention to what Pangblood? Pangaroo? Whoever was saying. His phone vibrates and checks to see Alexander has sent him a snapchat. It's a photo of Pangborn with dog ears and the caption:

**I talk so much I put my wife to sleep during sex**

He doesn't even realize he laughed out loud until he sees members of the Clave turn to look at him.

"Is something funny Mr. Lightwood-Bane?" Jia asks. Across from him Alec has a smug look on his face. He sends a spark of magic under the table at his husband’s leg as payback before answering. 

“Apologies Jia, my friend sent me a photo of my niece in her halloween costume. It was quite adorable.” He can hear Alec hiding his laughter as the excuse comes out his mouth.

_ So it’s going to be like that? _Magnus thought glaring at his husband and thus began the snap war. 

\------

It becomes a challenge to see who can break who first. 

**My mother almost died in labor because my ego was too big for her vagina**

**I didn't get my first rune until I was 16 because I was afraid of my stele so I used sharpies to hide my shame**

**One time my friends dared me to kiss a shax demon and I did it**

**A warlock once cast a spell on me so I could only talk backwards for a week because I insulted his wardrobe**

While Magnus has gotten Alec to chuckle a few times, his husband seems to know exactly what to make him laugh. At first he thought Alec was just making up captions about these people. Just fun little jabs at Clave members who take themselves too seriously. That all came to a halt when he overheard Dearborn talk about the arthritis in his hands and how he has to get his wife help apply runes for pain relief. 

Normally Magnus would not care about the lives of these high society people if not for a few days ago Alec sent him a snap of Dearborn surrounded crying emojis with the caption: 

**My wife has to apply my runes because my limp hands can't apply them just like they can’t give a proper handshake**

Magnus had to excuse himself from that particular meeting before he died from holding in his laughter. For the rest of the day Alec had this _ look _ on his face like he knew he was going to be the winner of their little game. 

Magnus should have never showed Alec how to use snapchat.

He doesn't know how Alec is getting all of his dirty info on these people. He’s been trying to wrap his mind around how it’s possible for Alec to know the things he does. He knows for a _ fact _ that Alec wouldn't be caught dead talking one on one with Mrs. Hawthorne after the groping incident and yet his last snap was of her with the caption:

**My husband doesn't like it when I take control in the bedroom because it makes him feel weak**

Magnus’s ears sadly suffered through that particular knowledge after Mrs. Hawthorne had one too many drinks at the Clave social a few months back. He couldn’t look Mr. Hawthrone in the eyes for _ weeks. _

At first he thought Alec was using an enhanced hearing rune to get these dirty little secrets but he's never caught Alec activating it. 

Then it hits him. 

Of course these people would never tell Alec these kinds of secrets. The age gap between him and other members is too high for them to be having such casual conversations about personal problems and weird achievements (if either of them have to sit through Whitelaw boasting about his son’s scores at the Academy _ again _, they may set something on fire). Some Clave members still don't think Alec is capable of being Inquisitor. Not to mention these people have known Alec since he was a child.

Which can only mean he has an outside source. Someone who has a history with these people and would know their darkest secrets. Someone who wanted to restore the Lightwood name so bad, that they would make themselves suffer and listen to all of these people's horrible and sometimes ridiculous rantings. 

Maryse Lightwood

\------

Magnus has it all planned out as he makes his way to Maryse's bookstore with a bouquet of flowers. 

Step 1: Compliment her outfit and hand her the flowers

Step 2: Ask how her day has been

Step 3: Offer to help around the shop while he’s in town for a meeting or maybe take her out to lunch

Step 4: Get as many dirty secrets about members of the Clave as possible before she catches on

Step 5: Make Alec laugh from all the new things he has learned 

Magnus can’t help the maniacal grin that spreads across his face as he thinks about how victorious he will be after this surprise visit. Distracted by his evil scheming, he almost walks right past the door. He glances up at the sign, **TRUEBLOOD BOOKS** is carved into the dark wood.

He's proud of how far Maryse has come with the little shop. Business has been flourishing since she opened last year. He’s been telling all of his Downworld friends in New York to go there if they are looking for a peculiar book.

At first they were wary of going to a shop owned by _ the _Maryse Lightwood. The lady with an iron fist and an even harder heart owning a bookshop for the Downworld? Might as well lock them up in an asylum before anybody believes that.

Once they step inside though, whatever snarky jab or comment that was on the tip of their tongue disappears as they take in the books upon books that line the wall. From the history of Seelie spies to vampirism for dummies, Maryse has made sure to have every kind of book possible that a Downworlder might need. 

If you asked Magnus was his favorite thing about the little book store was, it would be the back corner of maps of New York that are littered with Downworld hotspots and locations of shelters for those in need. It took Magnus close to an hour to stop crying when Maryse had asked him to help her fill out those maps. 

_ “I have a lot of making up to do,” he remembers Maryse saying. “I know my past is something that most won’t forgive and I understand that. It’s what I do now that matters and I want to make up for the times I was indifferent and callous towards all of you. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” _

He steps inside the shop, the little bell ringing above him as he spots Maryse. Her back faces him as she goes through a new shipment of books about mermaids.

“Maryse!” Magnus greets cheerfully as he closes the door behind him. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by to visit my favorite Mother-In-Law while I’m here in New York.” 

"Took you long enough to figure it out," Maryse responds without even turning around. Magnus’s steps falter. “Also I’m your only Mother-In-Law so I better be the favorite.”

With a sigh and a slump of his shoulders, he continues his walk over to Maryse. Summoning a vase for the bouquet, he sets it down on the table out of the way of the books giving Maryse a tight hug before assisting her in sorting the books.

“I should have known Alexander would be coming to you about dirty Clave secrets. I’ve seen his small talk skills in use before and there is no way he’s getting those stuck up nephilim to spill their darkest secrets.” A grin spreads across Maryse’s face.

“You would actually be surprised by Alec. He may not always talk about it but he was the Institute’s diplomat for Seelie relations for a while before you two met.”

“Really?” Magnus leaned against the table thinking about his husband. “Well, I guess out of all your children he would be the most rational one and less likely to cause an incident. We both know talking is never Jace’s strong suit.” 

Maryse barks out a laugh, shaking her head as she inspects a book about the significance of the color of a mermaid’s tail.

“There is a reason that Jace is known as the Nephilim’s best fighter and not the best leader. I remember the one time I sent Jace with Alec to one of those meetings. When they came back, I don’t think I have ever seen Alec so angry and Jace look like you had just told him his favorite blade broke.” Lost in the memory, she sets the book down before continuing, “Apparently he insulted one of the Seelie Queen’s guards because their weaponry in his own words _did_ _not look efficient and like they could snap in half if you so much as looked at them the wrong way_.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at the image that causes to appear in his head. Alec trying to negotiate with the Seelies peacefully and somehow Jace almost causing a war between the Seelies and Nephilim to break out. If he were Alec, he would have let the Seelies do whatever they please to Jace after that kind of insult to their culture.

“He didn’t talk to Jace for a week,” Maryse carries on with the story. “This was a few weeks after they had become parabatai so they were still sensitive to each other’s emotions. I don’t think I had ever seen Jace look so broken before. Feeling the constant frustration and anger coming off of Alec like that, not even patrols would cheer him up.”

“Seeing as how they are still parabatai I assume they eventually talked it out.” 

“Isabelle locked them in her room and wouldn’t let them out until they talked about what happened.”

Magnus’s head tilts back as he laughs. Of course dear Isabelle would get fed up with them not talking to each other and step in to help them get their act in order. There’s a reason Alec entrusted her to take over the New York Institute after he got promoted. 

“So not that I don’t _ love _ talking about my husbands parabatai’s lack of common courtesy skills,” Magnus gets out after he’s calmed down. He leans in closer to Maryse, giving her his best _ I’m your favorite son-in-law please help me _look. “How do I beat Alexander at this little game of ours?”

“By using a secret that no member of the Clave knows.” The grin Maryse has on her face should scare him but somehow he knows that whatever information she’s about to give him will make him come out on top. 

\------ 

Magnus hasn’t been able to keep a smile off his face all day. After his lovely lunch with Maryse, he teleported right back to Alicante to get ready for his winning snap. There was a meeting in two days which gave Magnus the perfect amount of time to plan out his photo.

When the day arrives, he and Alec have sent a few snaps back and forth. Each one better than the last but neither of them have broken. A smile here, an exhale there, but no full belly laugh that makes you the loser of that meeting. 

Then the perfect moment strikes, the meeting has come to an end and Alec is stuck once again listening to Whitelaw about his son’s scores. Alec looks ready to trip on his own blade to get out of the conversation. Magnus looks around and snaps the perfect picture adding the caption he knows will make him forever the victor. 

He doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s looking at his husband, waiting to see him check his phone.

Whitelaw is starting on a triad about his son’s archery skills when Alec’s phone goes off. Trying to look like he’s still paying attention Alec opens the snapchat and is greeted with his own face with the devil filter over him and the caption

**I once shot my brother in the ass with an arrow because I thought I could curve my arrows if I turned my body fast enough**

Magnus knows he’s going to definitely hear some choice words when they get home, but hearing his husband’s surprised boisterous laughter as he reads the caption makes it completely worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Skylar10211)
> 
> Want to talk about Shadowhunters with other fans?
> 
> [Join our Discord!](https://discord.gg/fhbfNFA)


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